Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Go BIG or go HOME in Las Vegas

Seriously, If you're not up for a total assault on all of your senses DO NOT go to Vegas.  If you're not set to overindulge DO NOT go to Vegas.  If you're not prepared to put mind over matter to keep going without sleep and feet covered in blisters DO NOT go to Vegas. But if you're ready to live it up like you're on "Jersey Shore" or some shit like that, then RUN to Vegas.  Don't walk, RUN, or maybe fly.  Ya, that's probably better, fly. 

My friends and I all turned thirty last year and thought we'd just have a big ol' Vegas style weekend to celebrate.  What, what! But there were two foreseeable issues: 1 - none of us are really gamblers.  2- we're mostly the pub and brew kind of crowd. 
Forget ALL of that, it doesn't matter.  You're in Vegas and it has it's own special power.  Hmm, maybe it's like a vortex or alternate universe where things don't really make sense, but it's fun so you go with it.
Everyone knows that the parties are crazy and that it's not difficult to get a couple of drinks for free, so I'm not going to spend too much time on that.  Besides, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?

Aw hell, I'll just share this snippet of a story.
The scene: Tao night club, the music is loud, the people are dancing, and our drinks are free.  Our friend, let's call her Special K, has found herself an admirer and they are hitting it off and having a great time.
Snap to 5 hours later
In the elevator at my hotel.  I look over and see the same guy! Of all the elevators, in all of Vegas, he walked into mine. So I say, "Hey, weren't you the guy talking to my friend at Tao?" Then I proceed to give him a high five. I'm thinking I'm really clever right about now until I hear a woman's voice say, "Well, that's just great 'cause he's my husband!".  Then she grabbed him by the hand and dragged him out of the elevator. 

----and scene----

I had a point... Right, there's lots to do in a Vegas weekend that doesn't involve gambling, clubs or shopping.  Here's a glimpse of how our weekend went.
Thursday: Plane lands 9PM, check into hotel (they gave us a bottle of vodka at check in.  What is this place?), night club
Friday: The Price is Right, Big Elvis (dude, he sounds just like Elvis), Fountain show at Belagio
Saturday: Boozy Brunch at the Wynn, David Copperfield show 
Sunday: Hoover Dam, Old Vegas and flight home
What we learned in Vegas: 
1- Even though something looks really close, "I can see it, it's just right there".  It's not just right there, it's actually really far and Vegas plays tricks with your eyes.  Just take a cab.  Trust me.  
2- David Copperfield is hilarious.  Seriously, there was an entire segment of his show dedicated to his eyebrows. 
3- There is no time for actual sleep in Vegas.  If you're getting your full 8 hours, you're doing it wrong.
4- Old Vegas is weird and smells of stale cigarettes
5- You'll be sweating booze for 3 days after you leave
Now I don't really feel the need to go back to Vegas until I'm a golden girl unless of course Britney plays Vegas.  Then I'm there.  Can you imagine what that would be like? Britney in Vegas, gawd! I need a drink in a plastic guitar just thinking about it. (don't know what I'm talking about? You would if you'd done Vegas right)